Sticky floors.
This is supposed to be the judge of whether or not you are a good mom. Good moms have sticky floors and happy kids… or something like that.
Except I don’t actually like sticky floors, and I don’t think I’m the only mom who feels this way. Sure, they are only little once and savor the moment and ignore the crumbs and all that… except we can’t. We can’t ignore the crumbs. It’s not in our DNA to tolerate a messy house for the sake of our kids.
We love our kids. They are happy. And we are happy… when our house is (mostly) clean.
Don’t get me wrong. My house is messier than I’d like. There are crumbs here and there, and I’m okay with it. We keep a little basket of toys in the front room, and although it’s a eye sore when you walk through the front door, I’ve learned to tolerate its bright, plastic-y presence among my muted living room decor. I understand that life with little children necessitates small messes and toys and some chaos around the home.
And please don’t think I’m judging you if you have a messy house. I don’t care one bit. Invite me over. My kids will add to the mess, and I’ll bask in your laid-back personality while praying it rubs off on me!
The only problem with desiring to have a clean(ish) house is that I’m always cleaning… like always. I get up. I unload the dishwasher. I prep breakfast. I clean breakfast. I put Talitha down for a nap and put on a show for Z, so I can clean the bathrooms or do the folding. I prep lunch. I clean up lunch. I put away toys, so I can spend nap time peacefully (and hopefully every once in a while not cleaning). I prep dinner. We eat dinner. I clean up dinner. If the folding didn’t get done earlier, I do it after dinner. Somedays I feel like I’m going insane.
But right when I was starting to get discouraged about this never-ending cycle of cleaning, my friend Lisa gave me some encouragement. Lisa has four kids and runs an orderly household. She’s not a drill sergeant by any means, but when I think of Lisa, I picture myself standing in her kitchen while she happily talks and sweeps the floor. There are dishes drying on the counter, her children are running in and out of the house, and she is quickly sweeping up crumbs from the snack or meal she just served all of us. Even before I had kids, I always respected Lisa’s ability to keep her house clean while raising four children. It seemed to come so naturally. She wasn’t OCD. Her house wasn’t perfect, but it was always peaceful, welcoming, and mostly clean. I wanted to be like her.
And now I have two kids of my own, and Lisa and I are still great friends to this day. Last time I was over at her house, I asked her, “How do you keep your house clean?” She looked at me and said quite honestly, “I am always cleaning.”
It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, necessarily, but it made me feel better instantly. I am not a psychopath striving in vain for a clean house. Messes are being created constantly. And as a wife, mom, and homemaker, I consider it my duty to keep them under control. I’m not saying Micah shouldn’t help. He does. I’m not saying my kids won’t do chores someday. They will. (Zianne has started unloading the utensils from the dishwasher all on her own… next step is getting her to do ALL the dishes after dinner… hallelujah and amen.) I’m not saying that having a clean house is the pinnacle of motherhood. I don’t want it to be an idol in my life… messy or clean has nothing to do with my identity in Christ.
But for me, clean is a priority. And I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that having a clean house is going to take a large chunk of my time, especially while my kids are so young. So if you are anything like me, working hard to keep your house clean and wondering why housekeeping tasks take up all your time, I hear you. I see you. You are doing a great job. Someday your kids will take out the trash and sweep the floor on their own. It will get easier, I’m sure of it.
And someday, they tell me, I’ll miss having little kids and their crumbs in my house. But I think they’re wrong… I’ll miss the kids for sure, but I won’t miss the crumbs one bit.
