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Jen Russum

You are here: Home / Narratives of Grace / Digging Deep: My Story {Part I}

Digging Deep: My Story {Part I}

October 3, 2014

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I didn’t always love to read my Bible. I suppose I read it more than most my kids my age while growing up, but I wouldn’t say I read Scripture regularly and I wouldn’t say I typically obeyed it either.
I was blessed to grow up with a basic understanding of God’s Word. My mom took us to church when we were children and I attended a private Christian school until the 4th grade. I could explain the Gopsel, and I knew some key Bible verses by memory. When I got to high school, my life reflected Christ less and less, but I was still known as a Christian among my peers. I was a student leader for Young Life and many of my girlfriends looked up to me for my faith and “wisdom” regarding the Bible. I went to Campaigners {Young Life Bible Study} weekly and I read my Bible on occasion before bed. In retrospect, I’m sure this lukewarm interest in Scripture was God’s gracious calling on my life. He had already given me gifts related to teaching His Word that were lying latent, waiting to bloom forth by His power later on.
When I went off to college, I remember scoffing in an Old Testament class during my freshman year. I was amazed my peers had no understanding of key OT events such as the flood or Abraham’s promise. I aced every test in that class with a cloud of smugness hovering over my head. It wasn’t until years later as I watched my childhood best friend become a believer that I realized my own arrogance. She told me one day that she wanted to start reading Genesis to familiarize herself with all the stories since she hadn’t grown up in the church. Thankfully God was doing some mighty work in my heart by that point and her desire filled me with gladness while also reminding me to be thankful for a childhood in which I was introduced to the Bible.
But although I grew up reading the Bible from time to time, it didn’t really have a hold on my heart. I understood the Gospel in my head but it didn’t really have much impact on my life. In fact, my attitude toward the Bible reflected my attitude toward God in general. I knew I read my Bible more than most other kids my age, so that must be good enough. And I think I saw the Gospel in the same way. Although I could give you all the lines about being a sinner saved by Christ, deep down I didn’t function as someone in need of a Savior. Instead, I compared myself to my friends, made sure my behavior was slightly better than theirs, and lived in a false reality where I exchanged the Gospel for my “good girl” status. Thankfully, God used His word to wreck my delusion and draw me close to Him…

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Comments

  1. Christy

    October 3, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    Love this!! So relateable, and I can't wait to read more!!

  2. thismessyheart.com

    October 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM

    I've been reading Jen Wilkins "Women of the Word" and have found God using that to help redefine my heart for His Word.

    I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your "Digging Deep" series.

Hi. I’m Jen Russum and this blog is where I’ve been sharing narratives of God’s grace for more than a decade now. Some might say “blogs are dead” but I’m waiting for them to come back around like mom jeans and 90s flannel. I enjoy my coffee iced, my summers hot, and my dinner parties long with lots of laughter. I process all of life’s deepest, darkest, and happiest moments by writing essays in my head. When I have the time, some of these essays get typed up and shared here. I’ve always loved to write, and I hope my words bring you joy and encouragement.

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