Dear Talitha {one month}

Dear Talitha,

I had forgotten what it was like to have a newborn. I forgot about all the squeaking noises and the gurgling milk and the coos and the cries. I could vaguely recall “womb knees” in my mind, but I had forgotten what it feels like to have them folded up against my chest. I forgot how tiny you would be, even though you are not very tiny at all compared to most babies.

In some ways, you are so familiar. You are big like your sister, though not as big. You are a good eater and sleeper. You are pretty relaxed and you love to smile, unless it’s between the hours of 7pm and 10pm. You wear Zianne’s hand-me-down clothes and sit in the bouncer and are as easy as can be most of the time. I’ve slipped back into infant mode almost seamlessly. This tired, slow season is familiar and good.

But in other ways, you are unfamiliar. For all the similarities you have with your sister, you also have so many differences. I love watching your unique personality unfold. You don’t like too much milk and quickly throw up on me or cry if I try to overfeed you. You are strong and alert and have been pushing your head up on your own since the day you were born. You love to be held or worn, and we spend your fussy evening hours doing housework together. I clean up dinner and your sister’s tornado of toys with you strapped to my chest. I feel your breaths slow and calm as you listen to my heartbeat, and I savor the fleeting days I can fold you up like a newborn and press you close to me in your little cocoon. Your dad and I are learning new things every day as we juggle a toddler and a baby. We literally swap your little body back and forth as we tackle bath time and bed time each night. We are learning to communicate better and are giving each other more patience and grace than ever before. This is just the start of the many ways we will grow and change and learn now that you are a part of our lives. This busy, changing season is unfamiliar… like the best mystery just starting to unfold.